my diary

life's a conflict

2009-05-25T01:06:19Z

today, i was supposed to sleep in for the 1st time since after exams.
cause i told myself i need a rest. and coincidentally my break will clash with my sweet's last paper week and we can then enjoy the break together!!

but reality sucked when u realized that you are not that rich afterall that saving and slogging (ok not exactly, because i have been enjoying my work, sometimes not doing anything, sometimes lost in the world of harry potter / twilight)

so. my sleep-in came early yesterday sunday when my tuition was cancelled. starting this week, i will have a weekend to sleep in cause i have shifted my tuition after weeks of without realising that i can do that. aww. i wished to bash myself for the lost sleep i could have gained.

and . . . surprise surprise i stayed home the entire weekend.
curled up in my bed for the two days. crying buckets for two people i will never know or meet in my entire life.
ok this is stupid. i was watching only the F4 korean drama.
and its not very nice but at the same time very nice even when the stories keeps repeating itself. its like the 3rd time of the same story i watched? not considering the reruns of the tw and jap version i watched too.
i think this is the best yet, and it helps that the main lead is the same age as me!!
i cried every episode since 13 to 25. silly silly.
i sound like a teenager but i dont care! and its so damn perfect!

on a funny note, over the weekend, i accidentally spoilt my brothers doorlock and bumped into him and his gf in a VERY awkward situation.
i wished the floor will swallow me then and now i dont know how to face him or rather her anymore. but jessie says its too funnny.

and i wanted to take / write this down. so i will remember this if one day i dont see her anymore.
my grandma offered to give me $50 after i kiddingly told her that i am in a butt of debts. (school debts i meant, noncriminal)
my grandma never dote on me openly or express her love for me in my 21 years of existence. and i always doubted she care about me.
awww. now i know she loves me. i love her too.

broke my heart along with the cracks.

2009-04-25T19:37:52Z

all my fave things have a way of breaking themselves

the rosebuds ring lost itself and i am still pinning for it.

the delicate bow ring i wore for 1 hour broke itself.

the heartshaped lollie my BFF got for me dropped and broke into a million pieces.

the eiffel tower keychain from paris broke. dont know how the hell it did itself.

what the freak.

thats the reasons why i like to buy pretty things twice.

i cannot bear to lose pretty things.

i am toying with the idea of the tattoo on my ankle soon.
THAT WILL BE SOMETHING pretty FOREVER.

of you.

2009-04-24T13:55:06Z

why do you have to give me cherries?

and why do i eat it?

List of Things I Want to do in This Lifetime

2009-04-21T01:36:42Z

List of Things I Want to do in This Lifetime

get the 3-day pass for USA's Disneyland and spend the three days there
get engaged in Paris
ride a horse
picnic in the countryside
bake a blueberry pie
bungee jump
sky dive
parachuting
stay in a cottage
move to a farm
settle for a beach house
plan a surprise birthday party for my mother
learn salsa/ latin dance or any dance
dine on the Eiffel Tower
spend a whole day in the Louvre
visit the Colosseum
learn how to blade properly
blade in Paris
grow flowers from a seed
dine in Lawry's
dance with my father at my wedding
be a vegetarian for a week
do mission work in Vietnam/ India/ Cambodia/ Africa
pick wild strawberries. blueberries, cherries
lay on my back and watch the clouds go by the whole afternoon
go to Hongkong or Bangkok with my bestfriends
go on a roadtrip in USA
backpack across Europe
go to Maldives and wear bikinis
skinny dip
have dinner with a tribe and dance with them
host my own travel show or cooking show or rather host travel and living
be a childcare teacher for one day / week
see real snow
build a proper snowman
watch a broadway show in NYC
keep the friendship with my bestfriends til we're old
truly forgive the people who have hurt me
kiss in the rain
learn French/Japanese
bake a cake for someone special
win mahjong
write a book or a column like SATC
read the news
buy something from all over the world
get my driving license
stay in NYC for about a year
see the someone i will love
and fall hard for someone darling (:

Won't Go Home Without You

2009-04-04T14:36:30Z

i dont know says (10:06 PM):
can i ask?
where is mambo?
missbehave says (10:15 PM):
haha
zouk
i am gg on the 22nd if u want to come
(:
i dont know says (10:15 PM):
exams.
no thanks.
zouk is zouk right?
i don know teach me
missbehave says (10:20 PM):
ok
missbehave says (10:21 PM):
zouk is the club
u know right
near great world city
ure asking me to teach u right?
or u saying u know?
i dont know says (10:21 PM):
i'm trying to say i dn know
missbehave says (10:21 PM):
ok in side zouk
i dont know says (10:21 PM):
pls pass me alllll knowledge u have
missbehave says (10:21 PM):
on wednesday
missbehave says (10:22 PM):
the club is divided into 2 areas
one is the mambo. which i always go
and the other is phuture
pronouced like future
mambo is like those 80s songs
and there are expert people on the podium
like raised stages in the centre of the dancefloor
missbehave says (10:23 PM):
so we just need to follow those experts/danny/ken/aik (they memorise all the moves)
its just some silly moves
which is cute at times
in mambo. people dont touch or molest. its quite decent.
i feel.
missbehave says (10:24 PM):
either that or i am too overprotected
i dont know says (10:24 PM):
phuture?
missbehave says (10:24 PM):
phuture is RnB music
like rihanna all those
and its pretty squeezy in there
and if ure gg with girls only, boys tend to come and dirty dance with u
missbehave says (10:25 PM):
girls have free entry inside the club on wednesday
i dont know says (10:25 PM):
rihanna nice lei..
HUH . bastards.. ok. i see
missbehave says (10:25 PM):
but there are 2 queues
i dont know says (10:25 PM):
other than these 2?
missbehave says (10:25 PM):
mambo is bascially accomodating everyone
they are velvet underground
there*
i dont know what people do inside, i never been there
missbehave says (10:26 PM):
then theres, winebar which is like a pub people sit down and talk
i hate phuture haha

its been 3 months since i stepped into zouk. the once familiar place that holds quite abit of memories, either funny, emotional or just senseless...
the most part i missed is late night suppers. and sometimes, i just dont know why i am there too.
pingping, by the time u end exams, i think you have to start brushing up all your moves. cause i dont remember anything except the love singal.
i am thinking of the best wednesdays i had in my life.
and when i looked back, i definitely want to tell myself, it's one of those nights.

PRAWNING101

2009-03-21T16:20:51Z

i finally went prawning!! all the expectations about the prawns went down the drain!

i dont even dare to touch the bait.

and since when do prawns eat chicken/meat/whatever that smelly thing is?

SINCE WHEN ARE THEY CARNIVORES! damnn disturbing that i dont know.

and i still feel guilty about this random thing.

jjadess @ 2009-03-18T01:18:00

2009-03-17T17:18:44Z

Lyrics | Katy Perry Lyrics | Thinking of You Lyrics

jjadess @ 2009-03-17T23:04:00

2009-03-17T15:05:18Z

is it love or dependency?

if it's love, can i continue loving you?

jjadess @ 2009-03-15T03:38:00

2009-03-14T19:38:23Z

i let you see my heart

is love lasting?

2009-03-14T17:37:30Z

polaroid my parents to birdpark before i was born! i keep mocking my mum for wearing formal to the birdpark! afterwhich she insisted was the trend then. ok i stuck it on my room. damn cute.

and when i went with my girls ages ago!

aww. i missed my old hair!

today was one of the good days where we have girls talk and pour our souls out. when we are supposed to be studying! as always as always.

so, i believed love is not lasting.

its been 4 days

2009-03-09T08:43:52Z

and i am still mourning the loss of my rose ring and the death of my hello kitty mouse!

i cant lose things, cause i cant get over it. just like how i cant lost friends and people, even when i am not remotely close to that someone.

i get excited just seeing someone random in school or in town.

i think i am weird.

and i really want my rose ring which is super pretty.

DAMN.

and if murder is legal, i will kill off the ugly CREEP in my project group, the one i ve been talking abt. today he really upset me and pissed me off. he said that i keep going in how hungry i am during meetings, how sad my life is, how i need to have a life after school. SHIT HIM. i dont even talk to him at alll about my personal ideas. and i have a better life than him i believed.

HE SHOULD REALLY GO AND DIE.

i can totally kill right now.
):

words are so pretty.

2009-03-04T09:00:06Z

since i ♥ beautiful words and phrases so much,
i am penning them down so one day i will look back to see what i felt.
and i need to stick my msn nick - jadeite (arrgggh so boring!!!) and not change so frequently.

i fell into an ocean of you
not knowing which is worst: feeling like i will never get over you or knowing that i will

Chris Tomlin

2006-09-30T16:32:35Z

Chris Tomlin

I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
I want to give like I have plenty
I want to love like I’m not afraid
I want to be the man I was meant to be
I want to be the way I was made